Phil At Hogwarts
by mandybear18
Summary: Phil Coulson has to teach at Hogwarts. I think that says it all.
1. Day 1, Part 1

**This is my first story so please be gentle. I would like to say that I do not own Phil or Hogwarts. I do own Evelyn. Also, I would like to give a shout out to my friend Amy. She is my co-author.**

"Good afternoon class, my name is Phil Coulson. You'll notice this room is different. Extremely different. Now listen up, because I have a lot to teach you and not a lot of time to teach it in.

This class is being called Muggle Studies 201 but I like to think of it as Survival in the Real World 101. There will be no magic use in this classroom. At all. Your owls and other pets are not allowed in this room. Doff your robes and hang them on the hooks when you come in for class. There are standard 'muggle' style school supplies in the desk you are sitting at, you will be using them. There are no tomes, no scrolls, no ink wells.

Because let me tell you something. You are all so entirely disconnected from the real world if you were any less capable, it would have smashed you by now. You are two centuries out of date by my reckoning. I have been brought in to explain to you a sliver of how reality works.

Some of you might be lucky enough to come from parents that live outside your fairy bubble. _Good_. You'll find this easier. We are going to be spending a lot of time on technology. We're going to talk about smartphones, computers, and television. We are going to talk about road laws, and in fact I'll be taking you aside one by one to schedule an extra lab because I brought my car to Hogwarts and each one of you will get behind the wheel and drive it without wrecking it. I'm going to teach you about how normal banks work, and credit cards, and food from around the world.

I am here to teach you to survive in a world that will take you all for fools and leave you penniless because you don't understand. I am here to give you a fighting chance against the march of technology.

Welcome to Modern Earth. You're late."

"Excuse me." Evelyn Moor, a fifth year Gryffindor, raised her hand. "How is any of this going to help us? Most of us will probably get a job in Diagon Alley or the Ministry."

Phil paused, looking around the classroom.

"It would seem many students here agree with you." He said after a beat. "I see a few intrigued faces and one kid in the back whom apparently comes from the normal world if the typing is any indication. Get off Facebook." The student in the back looks chagrined and puts his hands in his lap. "Right then. Why should you care? Well.."

He moved around his desk and brought up a video presentation on the big screen behind him, cuing it up with the remote and suddenly the room is awash in bad audio and news report chatter, Phil talking loud enough to be heard as the clips play. "Iron Man. Tore up a good portion of Malibu California. Damage to highways, danger to civilians, no loss of life. Thor. Entire small town in New Mexico flattened. Somehow, no loss of life. The Hulk, and not the first time in these videos you'll see New York get ripped a new one. The Chitauri invasion of New York. Both of these events? Massive civic damage. Massive loss of life."

He stared at them. "Are you starting to understand? But it's confined to the States! To the Muggle world!"

The video changed.

"Alien spaceship purposefully wrecks itself into Greenwich. Mass chaos. Not a one-off. Riots in Norway. Touched off by another Asgardian device."

The video cut out.

"The world is getting smaller and your world is going to get eaten by it. For the record, my organization has known for almost a decade that you're here. You've dodged most satellites. Not ours. I give it less than a decade before your wizarding world gets blown wide open in the public and if you are very lucky, it won't have the mass fear response that mutants get."

He leaned his hands on the desk. "The only reason it hasn't happened is one of these mad people we label 'villain' hasn't come and found you yet. Be glad Doctor Doom hasn't decided this would make a great summer villa. As it is, it would seem wizards and witches come from all over and a good portion of you know how to use YouTube."

Another array of video came up, blurred faces. All young people. All spells.

"Freely available on the internet. You're revealing yourselves. Oh no one believes it yet and I'm sure some of these kids got in trouble for it but none of your authorities realize the internet is even a thing let alone seem to realize it's going to be your undoing, assuming no one wrecks a spaceship into this castle."

He brought the lights back up. "In the end, you're two to three percent of the population worldwide. The other ninety-seven percent of the world, by my reckoning, has let you live by largely ignoring you. That won't last."

Evelyn looked startled. She raised her hand again. Excuse me, Professor. What's an Iron Man and a Thor? Who's Doctor Doom? What was that thing you just pulled down? What is any of this?" She was so confused. All the strange objects were making her head spin.

Phil glanced around and saw other hands going up, and put his hands up. "I don't know why, but your entire society purposefully missed the industrial revolution." His voice is calming, turning his back long enough to pour himself a coffee from a coffee machine behind his desk before shifting to perch on the front edge of his desk.

"It's odd, really, and I'd love to know the reasoning behind it. I know basically everything in this room, down to the lighting up above, is alien to you. That is on purpose. This is a rough approximation of a computer lab found in most colleges."

He let that sink in.

"I'm not here to teach you electrical engineering, just the basics. So a basic Q&A is as good a place to start as any. Iron Man, Thor, and Doctor Doom are all individuals best left to another day. The thing I just pulled down is a projector screen." He pulled a laser pointer from his pocket. "The computer on my desk is connected to that." He pointed the laser at the projector mounted on the ceiling. "That is replicating images from my computer and projecting them onto the screen."

He paused, then patted the computer next to him. "This is a computer. It's an electronic device that can do a very, very wide array of tasks, practical and otherwise. They break down into basic parts we'll discuss later."

Evelyn stared at the Professor with wide eyes. After a moment she grabbed the notebook and pen from her desk and began to write everything down. "Excuse me!" She practically shot out of her seat. "What is that in your hand?"

Phil almost laughed; instead he held it up to let them look. It's a fairly simple laser pointer, a nice one but not complicated. "This is a laser pointer. It's a focused beam of light used as a colored indicator. Battery powered. The light is intense enough that you can damage people's eyes with it."

He took it apart, unscrewing the barrel and pouring the batteries into his hand, holding it up. "Batteries." He tapped the power button. "No power, no output." He reassembled it and hit the light again, darting the pointer in swirls along the wall. "Believe it or not we use these as cat toys. Cats love them."

He threw it to her.

"What's a battery?" One of the students asked.

Phil uses that as a segue, opening up a presentation on his computer and starting to talk about electricity. Power lines, plugs, how some devices need continual power (the desktop computers they're using) and some don't, and can be powered by charged batteries. It's all very basic language and he answers questions as they come up.

Evelyn scrambles to write everything down. It was fascinating. Too soon was it over and the clock was chiming. She let out a frustrated growl. She wanted to know more and didn't want to wait for tomorrow. "Professor?" She had gathered her things and ran up to his desk.

"Um, I was wondering if I could take extra lessons with you? This is all so very fascinating and I would love to learn more." She bit her lip nervously.

"Just so everyone knows I'm planning on showing some muggle movies in the Room of Requirements after dinner on Saturday. I'm going to put some signs up with the details." Phil remarked as everyone got up. There's a flurry of people asking if they can keep the click-open ballpoint pens and Phil waves a hand, he can get more supplies if necessary.

Evelyn's question kind of startles him, and he blinked at her once while sipping coffee. "Here I thought everyone found me intimidating." He admitted. "I'd rather not take focus away from your other classes and I honestly don't know the policies here on one-on-one tutoring. What are you wanting to know more about?"


	2. Day 1, Part 2

**I don't own Phil or Hogwarts. I do own Evelyn. Shout out to Amy.**

The young witch smiled at him. "You are slightly intimidating." She tucked a lock of hair behind an ear. "I just find all this muggle stuff so fascinating. I just wanted to learn everything I could before you left. You wouldn't have to worry about my grades; I'm fourth in my class." She was rather proud of that fact.

"I'm only scheduled for one term here." Phil admitted. "It's not my preferred assignment, and I'm not actually an instructor in my standard job. So if I'm intimidating it's because I'm used to.. a much different environment."

As he's talking he's working on shutting down the classroom, walking around to make sure all the computers are logged out and that the classroom is straightened up.

"Well, I'm actually teaching only this class, four times a week so I have free time. We could work out something if you're really interested."

"Oh." She smiled happily. "That would amazing. I'm not sure if you know, but we have the weekend off. Do you think we could schedule something then?" Evelyn is so very hopeful.

"I imagine so. Friday or Saturday will be best; there will be Sundays when I've stepped off school grounds." Phil can't wait to see the students' reaction to the QuinJet. "Hm, tell you what. Let's make this mutual. I won't lie, I don't understand this place. I don't feel comfortable here. So I reserve the right to ask you a few questions during these tutoring sessions. Seem fair?"

Evelyn stops herself from jumping for joy. "Saturday would work. I would be happy to answer your questions about Hogwarts." The young witch can't help but grin happily.

"Saturday afternoon, since I'm using the after-dinner time to show some movies." Deciding on what movie is going to be a fun task considering this is a younger audience. He's thinking about opening up with a Disney or Pixar movie. Wall-E perhaps. "And I'll probably ask about a lot more than Hogwarts. A world without electric lights, without knowledge of them, is rather odd to me."

Evelyn's eyes sparkled. "What's a movie?" The professor used just strange phrases. "It's not so odd. I like candles just fine. Don't you?" She tilted her head like a young child.

Phil stood there a moment. "Let's take these in reverse order and you don't get to complain when we discuss this later in class."

He walked behind his desk, putting up the projection screen and picking up one of his dry erase markers. "We're discussing measurement of light. Lumens." He wrote that word down. "I actually prepared a bit for this question and without going into the science too deep, a standard candle is going to be about thirteen lumens."

His desk lamp isn't on so he reaches into it and unscrews the bulb, holding it up. "This is called a compact fluorescent bulb. Believe it or not, it's worth five hundred lumens." He screwed the bulb back in. "Five hundred lumens versus thirteen. I think the numbers, in this case, speak for themselves. Not only that, this single bulb will likely last an entire year without flickering or dimming. Also, this isn't a fire hazard."

He gave her a moment to absorb that. "Now let's talk about the concept of movies." He erased the board and wrote down 'movie'. "A movie is a very popular form of muggle entertainment."

He hates that word. So much.

"In short, a movie is a visual medium to communicate a story. It's very similar to a play, in fact that's the nearest equivalent you'll be familiar with. It's a big budget industry, millions upon millions of dollars poured into single films. Most modern day movies span from an hour and a half to two hours long, and include a cast of main actors and actresses with a supporting cast in the dozens to fill it out. There's music written specifically for the movie in almost every case. Movies span all genres. Fantasy, science fiction, romance, horror. You can split them into two categories loosely, animated and live action."

He gets an external hard drive out of a protective case, plugging it into his computer and pulling the projection screen back down. "I'm going to show you the start of a very famous animated movie called the Lion King. Everything you see is drawn by hand."

He turned on his sound system and moved her to stand in front of the projector screen centered, shutting the classroom lights off and starting it up, then shutting off his monitor. The room cut to near-black then started filling with African sunrise, the sound system rumbling and thundering.

Nants ingonyama bagithi baba!

Evelyn listens attentively, writing down almost every word. She nearly screamed when strange sounds began to fill the classroom. "How?" She watches the screen, amazed. "All this is drawn? That's amazing." She is stunned.

"Yes it's drawn." Phil agreed, stopping the film once the title hit the screen. "It's a cartoon. It's a series of drawings, each one a little bit different to make it look like the characters can move. The majority of this film is hand done; some of it's done in a computer. Twenty four drawings a second."

That was his understanding anyway.

"So, it's sort of like our paintings." She torn her gaze away from the screen and looked at him. "They move, if you haven't seen one. I always wondered how they did it. Made them move." She glances at the screen one last time. "I need to get to my next class. See you tomorrow, Professor."

"I saw them and about shot one of them. Same reaction to the ghosts I'm afraid. I was.. rather jumpy my first few days here." Phil sighed. "Have a good day." He wove a bit, then worked on closing the classroom up the rest of the day, shutting it behind him. He hasn't got another class for a few hours so he takes his DSLR camera and sets off to explore more.


	3. Day 2, Part 1

**I own Evelyn but not Phil. Big thanks to Amy.**

Evelyn raced down the halls to her next class. She burst through the door, panting for breath. "Sorry. Sorry. I won't be late next time." She rushed to her seat and pulled out her wand and book. She thought back to the new Professor. He intrigued her like no other. She wanted to learn everything he would teach her to the best of her ability. It was all so fascinating.

The classroom is mostly dim, Phil kicked back next to his desk with his feet propped up. The projector is going, and the sound system is going, displaying BB King on stage, playing guitar and singing that the Thrill is Gone. Most of the students are sitting at their desks, looking at each other with varying expressions. A few people are nodding along or tapping pens with the beat.

So when Evelyn bangs into the room, Phil only waves a hand for her to find her seat, sipping his coffee. Eventually the music video comes to an end and Phil rolls his chair around, clearing that video feed from the projector. "Afternoon class. It occurred to me that since you don't have electricity you all missed out on what I would consider the best instrument in the world, the electric guitar. You've missed out on the entirety of modern music in fact, so I'm going to open each class with a song from a different artist and genre. Today was BB King. He's a Blues guitarist and singer. He sits down to play because he's an elderly gentleman with health issues, and I won't begrudge him for it."

He paused, sipping his coffee again. "Here's how today is going to work. I'm going to take ten minutes to pound you with a bunch of current-world facts and a few things I'd consider history that you might not know about. As the barrage of information hits, try to remember a few things you want to ask about. Once I bring the lights up, Q&A begins. Ask me about what you saw. And we're starting with a few maps, starting with the world at night."

"What you're seeing here is light pollution. The pale areas you're seeing? That's the electric light. You can see where people live. For contrast, here's North Korea."

"Yes, that white outline is a country. No lights. That's South Korea directly below, China above, and the island is Japan. And since we're talking about Asia, on the topic of world population."

"There are more than seven billion people on this planet, and most of them live in Asia. Now, momentarily enough about Earth, let's talk about the moon. We've been to the moon. In fact, we were on the moon about when your parents were being born, roughly."

He brought up another video, just a short clip with the 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind..' quote. "This happened in 1969. For scale? I was five years old. I bring it up because this is my smartphone." He took it out of his inner suit jacket pocket, unlocking the screen and holding it up. "This device can act like a telephone, but it's also a computer. Landing on the moon was done with a fraction the computing power as this device."

He brought up a video. "And now, to give you an idea of how far we've come and how fast. Questions and answers start after this video."

Evelyn scribbled on her notebook, writing down all the important facts. She didn't really understand the meaning of the lights or where some of these places were. She raised her hand. "Professor? How did muggles get on the moon?"

Phil gets slammed with questions once the lights come up and he puts the projection screen up, uncapping a marker and starting to write down the questions as he gets them, gesturing for them to keep going and pointing at those that have their hands up. When more than one person wants to know something he adds a question mark. Facebook, man on moon, China, how do we have a picture of the world from space, the list goes on.

"So what this tells me is that we need to expand this curriculum to include modern history. Unfortunately I simply do not have the time to really cover any of these subjects in depth." He scratched his jaw. "Men on the moon. Yes, there have been men on the moon, for short trips. I'm willing to set aside a class to talk about the space race and how we actually get into space because honestly, a lot of these things are related."

He paused, then looked at the class. "New rule effective today. I'll even make a banner. No using 'muggle' in this class. Just say person, or people. How did people get on the moon is the proper question. I'm laying this rule down just because muggle's not a word outside your bubble."

Evelyn is startled. No saying the word 'muggle'. She raised her hand. "Professor? May I ask why we can't say muggle in here? It mean non-magical." She wanted to understand the reason behind this rule.

"Because we're very quickly going to get redundant. Everything in this classroom is non-magical; I've made every attempt to stop the wizard talk at the door. So from here on out if it isn't muggle, we'll specify. Just figure it is from now on."

He considered the classroom. "I'll get into space travel next class, since it's worthy of an entire period. For this period let's focus on the computer-based questions."

Evelyn's hand shot into the air. "What's a computer? When was the first computer invented? How do computers work?" She rattled her questions off at an impressive speed. She hoped he understood her.


	4. Day 2, Part 2

**Do not own anything but Evelyn and half the plot. The other half belongs to Amy.**

"Computers. Well, the device in front of you, in front of all of you, and on my own desk, are computers." Phil set a hand on top of his computer monitor. "The large flat box on your desk, which is just showing black, is a monitor. Its job here is to display the information being processed in the other large box, which is on the floor in the cabinet to the right of each of your legs. It's got a few terms; for the purpose of this class it's called a computer tower. All the parts that make a computer actually run are inside it."

He paused, watching with an amused smile as the class paused; everyone leaning down to give the grey rectangular boxes with lights the hairy eyeball. "Don't press the buttons on the tower unless I specifically tell you to. I'm sure you've noticed the device with the letters of the alphabet and various symbols in front of you. That's a computer keyboard; the device next to it is called a computer mouse. These are your input devices for a computer. Right now, all of these machines are locked. You can't do anything to them."

He went to his own screen and started typing, and all through the room the monitors came out of screensaver, cheerful log-in chimes sounding off and the desktops coming up. He'd set the backgrounds to an aerial photo of Hogwarts. "Today I'll show you how to write using these machines, and we'll answer questions as we go."

Evelyn made an excited squeak. She was ready for this. Kind of. She tapped a few keys on the keyboard; listening to Phil as he explained how to open a writing document. She tapped a few more. Her monitor went blue and made a long piercing noise. She covered her ears.

"What the bloody hell?" A bunch of code appeared on the screen. "I didn't do it!" Evelyn lied. The monitor made one last beep, then the screen went black. She uncovered her ears and glanced at Phil. "It was not me. The com-poo-ter didn't like me."

"Okay, everyone. Relax." Phil said, making his way into the class and stepping between the rows, looking at her blank screen. "What many of you saw is rather charmingly called the 'blue screen of death'. It means that the guts running the computer have stopped working. Think of gears grinding to a halt."

He knelt and hit the power button, holding it until the monitor shut off then starting it back up. Thank everything for Deep Freeze. "It's going to start up and return to the original screen." He told her, returning to the front of the class.

Evelyn blushed a deep red and used her hair to make a curtain around her face. She waited as her computer booted up and logged on. She listened more attentively to Phil's instructions and opened up Microsoft Word.

Phil walked them through the concept of typed documents, sitting at his desk and typing everything he's saying real time. Once he hits most of a page he hits print, walking over to a laser printer and holding up the page for the mostly-stunned class.

"I understand that this place has you writing not only in longhand, but with feather quills and ink wells." Phil said, looking around at them. "Welcome to the current standard. Typed documents, printed like this."

Evelyn followed his instructions perfectly. She didn't want another 'blue screen of death'. The students around her were cautiously typing. She finished and raised her hand. "Professor? How do I print this again?"

"This button." Phil's got his display on the overhead, and put his mouse over it. "By the way, I will be setting up lab hours where I don't have class, but you can come in and practice with the computers or type up other papers."

Evelyn clicked the print button and went up front to collect her paper. She glanced at Phil and cleared her throat. "Professor?" She shuffled a little. "I was wondering, what is the in-ter-net?"

"Interesting question." Phil said, watching everyone look up. "I know a few kids in here have been on the internet before." A few kids in the back put their hands up. "The internet is defined a lot of ways. In short, it's a way to transmit data of all types. You can take what you just typed, send it through the internet to say, America, and someone there can print it instead if they want. It's a network; an artificial spider web of cabling that spans most of the world and connects computers together around the world. What it basically means is everyone around the world can share anything they want, teach each other things or just act like total jerks."

This gets some amusement. "Yeah, that happens a lot." Phil admits. "The internet can be used with near anonymity and without identity a lot of people won't behave like decent human being and will be cruel because they can."

Evelyn copies the information down. The in-ter-net sounded amazing. Clocks around the room began going off, signally the end of class. The blonde gathered her things. She looked at Phil. "Professor, would you like to get the tour of Hogwarts tomorrow after breakfast? I mean, since it will be Saturday. And you said that Saturday's work for you. And I'm rambling. I'm sorry." She blushed and looked at the floor. She was a nervous rambler.

Phil considered, watching the class leave then looking at her. "That sounds like a good idea actually." Phil agreed. "I'm learning my way around but I'm sure an experienced student like you has a much better awareness of how to move through this place, and the secrets of it."

Evelyn grinned. "Okay. I'll see you around 9am? Is that a good time? We can meet in the Great Hall." She pulled her bag onto her shoulder. "See you tomorrow." She turned and practically skipped out the door.


	5. Day 2, Part 3 And Day 3, Part 1

**I don't own anything but Evelyn, Chelsea, Chronos, Ananke, and half the plot. Amy owns the other half.**

"Nine AM will work." Phil agreed, watching her head out, smiling and shaking his head.

He manages to have a good day, and even manages to get some sleep that night, after spending some time on video chat with Clint and Natasha. The ghosts have already learned to stay well away from Phil's room.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(This Is A Line Break)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Evelyn skipped the Gryffindor tower, vibrating with happiness. She could not wait until tomorrow. She reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Halloween."

The Fat Lady gave her a slight smile and swung open. The blonde walked inside and made her way up the stairs to her dorm. She swung the door open with a bang startling Chelsea, her best friend and roommate. The redhead looked up from her book.

"What has you so happy? You're practically oozing sunshine and rainbows." Evelyn snorted. She threw her bag on her trunk and flopped on her bed. She sighed.

"I get to show the new Muggle Studies professor around Hogwarts. We have a deal thing. He asks me questions about the Wizarding world and Hogwarts, and I can ask him about the muggle world."

Chelsea closed her book and sat crossed legged on her bed. "Why do you want to know more about muggles?"

"Because it pisses my father off. We had a row on the platform. He wants me to be the perfect pureblood lady that I'm supposed to be. I told him to shove it." She grinned at her friend.

"You're nuts. Completely bonkers." The two shared a laugh. "I'm going down to the kitchens. Want to come?" Chelsea stood up and stretched.

"Nah. I need to work on my homework." She pointed the pile on her trunk.

"Sucks to be you then. Later." The redhead bounced out the door and down the stairs. Evelyn looked at the pile of books and parchment on her trunk. She could swear it was taunting her. She glared at it, willing of it to catch fire.

"Screw that. I'm going to sleep." The blonde drew the curtains around her bed and snuggled under the covers. She closed her eyes and drifted off.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(This Is A Line Break)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Evelyn slowly came to awareness. Her chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it. She opened her eyes and came face to face with her cat, Chronos. He meowed.

"You arse. I fed you before class. And I know Chelsea snuck you food." She hated when he begged for food, so she pushed him off her chest and off the bed. He let out a yelp. Chronos landed on the floor, hissed at her, then crawled under her bed.

"Hate you too." The blonde yawned and stretched. She glanced at her clock. 11:26. She looked over at Chelsea's bunk. The redhead was sound asleep. "Now would be a good time for me to do my homework."

The pile taunted her from its place on her trunk. She sighed and crawled out of bed, tip toeing out the door and down the stairs, homework tucked under her arm. The blonde sat in one of the chairs near the fire and pulled out her Potions homework. She looked over it. "Name the five uses for moonstone and describe the types of potions it's in. Bollocks. I should have done this earlier."

She sighed heavily and set to work. She needed good grades to become a Healer and Potions was one of the requirements. She worked through most of the night, but at long last she was done. Evelyn let out a happy sigh and gathered everything up. She snuck back into her room and crawled back into to her bed. She set her alarm for 8:30 and went to sleep.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(This Is A Line Break)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Morning came too soon in Evelyn's opinion. She sat next to Chelsea in the Great Hall eating her breakfast in a sort of daze. Chelsea chattered about her boyfriend and upcoming date in Hogsmeade. The blonde pretended to listen and munched on a piece of bacon. Never again would she procrastinate on her homework.

Phil's in jeans and a sweater when he went to breakfast. He tends to ignore the facilities sent up for the faculty, walking into the Great Hall and getting himself some food.

He tends to sit separate from everyone and today's no exception, skimming over his e-reader and eating off-handed.

Chelsea nudged Evelyn. The blonde narrowed her eyes at the redhead. "What?" She hissed. She was not in the mood. She was cranky and tired and just wanted to sleep.

"The Muggle Studies professor just came in. Didn't you say that you were giving him a tour at 9?" Chelsea slathered jam on her toast and took a bite.

"Is it 9? If not, leave me alone to cry about how I got no sleep last night." Evelyn grabbed her fork and stabbed at her eggs. Owls swooped in from the windows near the ceiling, carrying mail and care packages. Ananke, her screech owl, landed next to her plate, a letter in her beak.

"Thanks." Evelyn took the letter and gave Ananke a piece of sausage. The owl hooted softly and took the offered sausage link. The blonde looked the letter over. It was from her father. She tucked the letter away in her jacket.

"It's almost 9." Chelsea looked up from her letter. Evelyn glared.

"Yes. I know. I do have a watch that tells time." She stood up and walked up to the teacher table. "Professor? Are you done eating?"

**Just a little background information about Evelyn's cat and owl. Well, their names at least.**

**Chronos was imagined as a god, serpentine in form, with three heads—those of a man, a bull, and a lion.** **Chronos is usually portrayed through an old, wise man with a long, grey beard, such as "Father Time".**

**Ananke marks the beginning of the cosmos, along with Chronos. She was seen as the most powerful dictator of all fate and circumstance which meant that mortals, as well as the Gods, respected her and paid homage. Considered as the mother of the Fates according to one version, she is the only one to have control over their decisions. She was also Chronos' consort.**


	6. Day 3, Part 2

**See earlier chapter for disclaimer.**

"Near enough." Phil agreed, looking up from his e-reader. He's in his glasses, so between that and the jeans he's as close to casual as he gets. His gun is still riding at the small of his back, of course. "Are you ready for this tour? I wouldn't want to rush you."

He'd worn a messenger bag down and tucked the e-reader into it, picking up a mug of tea and sipping it. He doesn't have anything scheduled until the evening after all.

"It's fine." She yawned and fell in step with him. She ignored the rest of the hall. She knew there would be six different stories by lunch. Hogwarts was such a gossip mill.

"Where would you like to go first? Actually, don't answer that. We're going to the kitchens." Evelyn led him through corridors and halls, up and down stairs. She explained about the moving stairs, tricks steps, fake doors, and secret passages. They ended up in front of a painting of a bowl of fruit. "We are near the Hufflepuff dorms."

She grinned. "Go tickle the pear." She urged Phil forward toward the painting.

Phil blinked, trailing along behind Evelyn and keeping track of their walk path. He knows people are looking at them but pays it no mind, everyone's been staring at him since he arrived here (oh look, an exotic Muggle teacher). He's still learning the layout of this place, which seems to shift whenever the school feels like. "Hufflepuff. Okay." Phil repeated back.

Her instructions make him pause and stare at her. "I beg your pardon?" He said, absolutely skeptical.

Evelyn looked at Phil. "Go tickle the pear on the painting." She repeated her instructions. "Don't question. Just do it. Trust me. You will be blown away." She grinned and rocked back on her feet. She couldn't wait to see his expression.

Phil is skeptical. Beyond skeptical, but he's seen some crazy, crazy crap here so he manages not to huff as he walks up and touches the painting, tickling his fingers slowly along the pear.

The pear lets out a giggle and did a little dance. Evelyn grins at the look on Phil's face. The pear finishes and turns into a doorknob. The blonde climbed the last of the steps and stood next to him. She grabbed the doorknob and pulled. The painting opened and revealed a hole in the wall. Pots and pans clanking could be heard through the hole.

She stepped through, motioning for Phil to follow her. House elves upon house elves bustled about. Some were making soup, others making cakes and pastries. One was basting a turkey. She spread her arms wide and grinned. "Welcome to the kitchens!"

Phil is digging into his bag, activating a gopro camera and putting it on a lanyard around his neck. He manages to catch the end of the pear's dance and transformation then the hole in the wall, stepping through and ducking just a bit, gaping around at the kitchen. The gopro on his camera is merrily blinking its recording light when he glances down. "Wow. I knew there had to be quite an operation to keep this many people fed with food this high quality but this is.. not what I expected. But then why would I be expecting halflings."

Evelyn grinned. A house elf came up to them. "Would the Miss and Sir like anything? Pipsy would be happy to bring yous drink and food." She squeaked out, bowing a little. The blonde gave a small bow back.

"That would be lovely, Pipsy. Could you bring us some hot chocolate and maybe some treacle tart?" The house elf let out a happy squeak.

"Of course! I is bring it very quickly." And she bounded away to gather the treats. Evelyn turned to Phil.

"So, what do you think? Neat huh?" She took a seat at one of the little tables that lined a wall.

"Strange." Phil replied once he was sitting down. He moved the chair so he kept the camera feed clear and pointed at the chaos of food preparation. He feels uncomfortable, but nothing here seems dangerous, so he's willing to entertain himself watching the battalion of big eyed, big eared critters work.

Aye ayes, he realized. That's what they remind him of. Ears, eyes. Kind of the hands. Huh.

"So, I need an explanation on what these critters are. Because I honestly don't know. We don't have these in the non-wizard world."

"They're called House Elves. Or just Elves." Pipsy appeared with a plate of treacle tart and two steaming cup of hot chocolate. She placed the plate and cups on the table. "Does the Miss or Sir need anything else?"

"No thank you. Thank you Pipsy." The elf gave a bow and popped away to clean some dishes. Evelyn grabbed herself a slice of treacle tart and took a bite.

"Back to the Elves. They are immensely devoted and loyal creatures to the one designated as their master. They have to do everything that their masters command unless they are freed. You can free a house-elf by giving them clothes. Some house-elves have horrible masters and are treated horribly.

All house-elves have their own brand of magic. It's very powerful and can be used in places where a wizard or witch cannot use their own magic. House-elves are more than just housekeepers also. They can be a rather ruthless protector of their master, and will attack anyone or anything that is considered a threat with great fury, strength, and without a moment's hesitation.

Before you overreact, the house-elves here in Hogwarts are treated with the upmost respect. Without house-elves the Final Battle would have not turned out as well as it did. All the house-elves you see are heroes." The blonde stated the last fact proudly. Not many believe house-elves were useful other than to cook and clean. The nearby house-elves blushed; the tips of their ears turned a bright red.

Phil accepted the hot chocolate. Not really his choice in a morning drink but it smells delicious so he sips at it as he listens to her explanation. "Huh. That's interesting, actually." He admitted, looking at her. "As said, we don't have anything like them in the larger world. Any form of indentured servitude, willing or not, is pretty frowned upon these days. If they're happy more power to them I guess."

He looked over the kitchen. "That said, I'm glad there's some kind of defense here. That's kind of reassuring."

Not that it's enough. He could still bring this whole place down in twenty minutes or less with a small team, and that worries him a lot.

Evelyn picked up her cup and took a long sip. "I was thinking of showing you the Astronomy tower next. What do you think?" The blonde grabbed another slice of treacle tart and proceeded to devour it.


	7. Day 3, Part 3

**Disclaimer: Same as the chapter before.**

"It's your tour, your choice." Phil stopped the camera and put it away, then drained the rest of the hot chocolate happily. "I won't lie. I don't understand this place, at all, but I'm trying to take in what I can so I can make comprehensive reports and write up guides for other agents who might come teach."

Astronomy tower?

"Astronomy. The school has an observatory? I guess that makes sense, there's no light pollution here, or very little." He's thoughtful.

"Well, not really an observatory. It's more just a tower with no roof and a bunch of telescopes." She finished her hot chocolate. "About three years ago the Astronomy professor got sacked so, Professor Dumbledore hired a centaur to teach us." A house-elf came and cleared away the dirty dishes. Evelyn stood up and motioned for Phil to follow her.

They traveled through corridors and halls, up and down stairs. The blonde and agent got caught on one of the stairs as it moved. Evelyn held tightly to the rails and laughed merrily. "Guess we need to take another path. You've got to love the moving stairs." She grinned and took a left.

"I'd say you guys should invest in a big telescope, observatory style, but most of them are computer assisted and electronic these days." Phil hummed, standing and moving to follow her.

He cuts easily through the crowds they pass, ignoring the stares that follow him. He's well aware that a lot of people are not fond of him being there and it's only some not-so-subtle threats that ensured that his memory would not be tampered with.

The moving staircase makes him kneel on a stair and hold the railing, managing to keep the alarm off his face. "I'm not fond of these things at all." He admitted. "I fail to see the point of them."

Evelyn grins. "There really is no point. They're part of Hogwarts." She skipped merrily down the hall, whistling a happy tune. All too soon they arrived at the Astronomy tower. The blonde looked up. "That is a lot of stairs. I never get used to it." And up they climbed.

Evelyn was panting for air by the time they reached the top. She leaned against the stone wall to catch her breath. She stood up after a moment and fixed her hair. A couple was in an alcove snogging and grasping at each other.

"Oi! What are you doing? We don't need that nastiness here. Go find a broom cupboard or something." She snapped irritably. The couple growled and made a rude gesture at, then fled. The blonde turned to Phil.

"What do you think?"

The view was rather breathtaking. You could see the majority of Hogwarts and part of Hogsmeade. It was still early in the morning, so the sun wasn't that high in the sky. Down below student milled about not a care in the world.

Phil's barely breathing hard at the top of the stairs, stretching a bit then relaxing. Evelyn's bitching at the making out couple makes him laugh out loud, and he grins at their rude gestures. "Don't flip off a teacher, children, we can make your life a living hell." He remarked, and was rewarded with sudden realization in their eyes as they fled.

"It's a nice view." Phil admitted, walking to the edge and looking out. "I've certainly been higher up on buildings but the scenery here is very good. Some of the best, really."

"It is beautiful. I've been higher as well, on a broom." She stretched her arms up. "This is the most popular place to find snogging couple or worst." She gave a violent shudder.

She looked at the sky. "Look. You can see Venus." She pointed to the red planet to the left of the waning moon. If you didn't know what to look for you would have missed it. She smiled softly. Astronomy was one of her favorite classes.

"Fifty stories plus is not uncommon in New York." Phil admitted. "I've spent a lot of time on planes and that's.. an average cruising flight of thirty thousand feet. That's over file miles in the air." He paused, doing math. "Over eight kilometers." He clarified.

When she pointed out Venus he looked up and smiled. "If it was darker I could probably find Mars." He admitted. "And a variety of constellations. Orion's Belt, the Dippers, and so on. North Star."

The North Star is a good reference for out in the field.

Evelyn leaned on the stone wall. "My favorite it Sirius, the Dog Star. I also like Sagittarius, the Archer. There's something about the stars that I just love." She turned her head and looked at Phil.

"Never ask a centaur anything about the stars or anything in general. They talk in riddles and you will spend all your time arguing with them." She nodded her head.

"I'm not sure how I'd react to a centaur." Phil said, thoughtful. "I can horseback ride but I feel like those skills don't apply toward a centaur."

Phil considered then looked at her. "If you're into astronomy I should introduce you to the NASA website. They have a lot of gorgeous photography because of the Hubble telescope and so on. Surface photos of the moon, Mars. Up close shots of Saturn and Jupiter."

The blonde tilted her head. "What's NASA? You should know that I am a Pureblood. I didn't grow up with all these terms and objects. A Half-blood or Muggle-born would probably know. My father, if that's what you would call him, is really struck in the old ways.

He wanted me in Slytherin, I got into Gryffindor. He wants me to practice the Dark Arts; I would rather be a Healer. He is not a nice man; I'm a rather happy individual. But who cares about him?" She waved her hand in the air. "Tell me more about this NASA and their pictures." She leaned a little closer, but not into his personal space.

"Frankly, there are pushy parents everywhere, who insist that their children remain good practitioners of certain religions, or go into certain majors. My take? Follow your bliss. Do what makes you happy. Everything else will fall in line." Phil shrugged, still staring out over the grounds. "NASA. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration. It's a government-funded group in the United States of America that is focused on space research. There's a station floating over the world that has people on it all the time, for example. They launch probes to explore other worlds, and investigate new technologies. I believe the equivalent here is UKSA. United Kingdom Space Agency."

He dug into his messenger bag. "The Hubble telescope is a satellite, an artificial creation orbiting the earth from high above. Since there's less light pollution it can take pictures far, far away and shows us distant galaxies and stars."

He got his e-reader back out, backing out to the menu and shuffling through the library on the reader. "I was sure that I.. AH. There it is. I do have an e-book that's a collection of Hubble photography." He opened it and went down the table of contents, tapping a photo and showing it to her. "Something close to home. Saturn."

"Oh wow." Evelyn's eyes widened in wonder. "This is amazing." She watched as Phil flipped through more pictures; Jupiter, Pluto, the surface of the Moon, Mars, and many more. The blonde looked at the sky; the sun was much higher than before.

"Hold on. _Tempus_." She flicked her wand. The time appeared before her as floating numbers with a slight glow. "11:18. It's just about lunch time." She slipped her wand back into her sleeve and turned to Phil. "Would you like to head down to the Great Hall?"

**I think this is my longest chapter yet. Wow. I just want to thank everyone that has read, liked, followed, and made my story one of their favorites. Thank you. Also, please do not forget to review. I would love to hear what you all think of my story. Thank you again.**


	8. Day 3, Part 4

**Disclaimer: Same as the chapter before.**

"That's just our local attractions, the nebula photography is where things get insanely beautiful." Phil admitted, tucking the e-reader away when she got her wand out. "You understand why I was curious if this place had a proper telescope I hope."

Her time telling spell throws him for a loop. "So what happens if you change time zones? Does it adapt on purpose or do you have to do some kind of manual correction?" He wants to know. "And I suppose we can start walking that way and you can point out anything else interesting along the way."

Evelyn began the long trek down the Astronomy tower stairs, Phil following her. "I understand. You should probably talk to Professor Williams. He's the new Astronomy teacher. As for the _Tempus_ spell. I believe it adapts to where you are. I don't really understand some of the theories behind magic.

My mother said magic came from Eywa. Also known as Gaia or Mother Earth. She believed that Eywa gifted some of the first humans with magic to better protect themselves. I somewhat believe her way of thinking. I like the idea that the Earth has a conscience and has that type of power." She continued walking, gesturing to particular paintings and corridors.

"I probably shouldn't. Enough teachers hate me. I'll add the Hubble telescope photos onto the class we'll have about the space race." Phil replied. A lot of the teachers somewhat despise his presence, but a few of them are okay and realize he absolutely means well.

He looks where she gestures. "I think you're a subtype of mutant." He admitted. "That's in contact with similar forces that Asgard takes advantage of."

It makes sense to him, and it's somewhat scientific. Asgard's science is preternatural, magical at times, and if such forces do wrap all the worlds, maybe the witches and wizards of the world have connected to that.

Evelyn listened closely. "First, what's a mutant? Don't give me that look. I'm very sheltered. Second, comparing us to the Gods is a big no-no. Many witches or wizards will curse or hex you for saying that. I am more open-minded, and I see where you get that idea." She pushed open the doors to the Great Hall. "Would you like to continue the tour after lunch?"

"Mutants are only recently a common discussion, and it's difficult to get into." Phil admitted. "I'll have to give you some reading material that explains it much better than I can."

The remark about gods makes him roll his eyes. "They're not gods. They're aliens. They're from another planet and they may have different strengths and live longer but they bleed and die just like we do. I'm not even comparing you to the natives of Asgard. I'm suggesting that some of the forces they manipulate for their technologies might be the same forces your people manipulate."

Her offer makes him pause. "That's your call. I don't want to take up your whole day and I was considering going for a walk in the woods before dinner."

"Evie!" Chelsea screamed from her spot at the Gryffindor table, jumping up and down and waving her arms.

Evelyn sighed heavily. "Well, I could give you a quick tour of the grounds after lunch, but Chelsea will probably steal me away around 3." At his mention of giving her material about mutants, her eyes lite up. "I would love to learn more about mutants."

"EVIE!" The blonde grit her teeth.

"What?" She spun on her heel and yelled. Chelsea grinned.

"Come eat, babycakes." Then the red-head sat down and filled her plate with beef sandwiches and mashed potatoes. Evelyn glanced back at Phil.

"I'm sorry about her. I'll see you after lunch." She then walked away rather quickly, cheeks burning.

"It's not a problem. Let's skip the after lunch thing, I have a few things to tend to. You know where to find me after dinner." Phil wove a hand, moving away. He managed to get food to go, wrapping himself two sandwiches and managing to appropriate some extra beef.

That done he went for a walk and ended up in the woods surrounding the grounds, sharing his lunch with a pair of grey bony horsemonsters. He doesn't know what they are, but they're well trained and gentle, and apparently they like roast beef. They don't show up on camera, curiously.

He doesn't bother going back inside until dinner. He does like the grounds of this place…

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(This Is A Line Break)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Evelyn sat down next to Chelsea and calmly grabbed herself some food.

"So, what's he like? Does he have dreamy eyes? How's his arse look? Tell me!" Chelsea babbled next to her, firing questions off rapidly. Evelyn turned her head and gave her best glare.

"Professor Coulson is an interesting person. I wouldn't know if he has 'dreamy eyes' as I wasn't paying that much attention to his eyes. I have no clue what his arse looks like, I actually really don't care." And she calmly began to eat her lunch.

"That's not fair." Chelsea whined. "You are probably the only one who has spent any alone time with him."

"That is because most of our year and the ones above are tramps and only want to get in his pants. I would actually like to have a proper conversation with him. I think I'm done. Good day." The blonde stood up and stormed out the Great Hall.

She ended up in her dorm, lying on her stomach on her bed. Chronos was next to her curled in a ball. She absentmindedly stroked him while reading her Astrology textbook. She was currently reading an interesting paragraph on Jupiter and its influence on magic. Evelyn's eyes began to droop. She gave a great yawn and folded her arms on her book. Laying her head over her arms, she drifted off asleep.

**I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. I know I did. I got the footie pajamas that I wanted. XD**


	9. Hiatus Announcement

**Recently I have been struggling to continue with Evelyn Moor. I have sat on my bed trying to figure out where to go next with the story. I'm very sorry if this makes any of you sad and/or mad. This is not my intention. I do have my other story, ****The Life of Evelyn Blackthorne****. You should give it a look and if you don't like it, that is fine. I will be sad to see you go. Again, I'm very sorry. Happy New Year everyone.**


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